Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Some other things

Saturday, 46 days before "Star Wars: Episode III -- Revenge of the Sith" opens on May 19, the trilogy's enthusiasts began their vigil outside Grauman's Chinese Theater.

Problem is 20th Century Fox doesn't plan to open the film at the Chinese, opting instead for the ArcLight a few blocks east. [LINK]

I guess that all the other stupid movies premiered there and it's just not morally proper if this one doesn't open there, too. IT'S A SLAP IN THE FACE! You know, a slap in the face on top of the last two shitty movies and all the cuddlebears in Return of the Jedi. I just wish for a split second these nerds would realize that Lucas isn't making these movies for them and couldn't possibly care less what they think or want. Just for a second. But they're gonna eat it up, anyhow, which, as a reader of superhero comics, all sounds distressingly fucking familiar.


Prince Charles postponed his wedding because the pope died. Henry VIII must be spinning in his grave. If there's any room in there. 'cause he's fat. Or he was. Now he's just dust, but man, that's gotta be a lot of dust. Not that I give half a dry fart about any of this. It's just amusing, is all. Catholicism's still as wacky as it's ever been, almost as wacky as "regular" christians who attempt to denounce it as satanic. Speaking of...


A couple weeks ago I saw this fellow on tv I'd seen a couple times before, a Louisville preacher/pastor fellow named Chuck Salvo.

CHUCK SALVO.

So help me Bog the man's name is CHUCK SALVO. A couple weeks before that I saw him heal a woman with rheumatoid arthritis. He said something like "Demon of rheumatoid arthritis, I rebuke you!" Then he shoved this poor old lady to the ground.

CHUCK SALVO.

I didn't even know there was a demon of rheumatoid arthritis, but if the woman's twitching and flopping gave any indication, CHUCK SALVO knocked it right the fuck out of her.

So this particular week CHUCK SALVO has the stage filled with good christian girls in black blouses and tasteful khaki pants raising their hands to and dancing for Jesus. In the midst of this, CHUCK SALVO is preaching and he name-drops Marilyn Manson. Do people still take Manson seriously? 'cause CHUCK SALVO said something about all those kids out there fornicating and listening to Marilyn Manson and then coming to church and raising their hands to Jesus. And I don't understand the hand-raising thing; the girls in khaki pants were doing it, the folks in the audience were doing it and everyone on the Jesus CD commercials does it, too. CHUCK SALVO touched one girl and she looked close to vomiting, so filled was she with the love of CHUCK SALVO, or possibly Jesus, one hand on her stomach and one limply raised to the ceiling, or possibly Heaven.

Then CHUCK SALVO told everyone to get down on their knees and ask for CHUCK SALVATION, and told everyone at home to get on their knees, too, and I almost did, 'cause CHUCK SALVO, man.

CHUCK SALVO.

It's crazier than anything I've seen on the Trinity Broadcast Network - with the possible exception of Jack and Rexella (REXELLA!) van Impe - and it's right here in my own backyard, confusing and fascinating all at once. Praise Bog. Ah-mens.

10 comments:

L_Tyranis said...

I was just looking things up on this "Chuck Salvo" and man, you wouldn't believe half the crap that comes from his mouth...One second he says being gay is a sin, then he says that gay people are like thieves. Okay know, petty crooks too, come on chucky. I too saw an episode of this whack job's show and found it utterly fascinating that someone actually puts this gabage on the air....and i thought Dr. Phil/American Idiot "Idol" was bad. Oh how so wrong was thy. Haha, the reason for me looking into this is because i am an Athiest and to be a knowledged athiest i.e. reading up on various religions, going to preacher's sermons and such will give that edge over the fools who take this for the truth....oh how so weak humans are "MYSELF INCLUDED." I'm no better than anyone of you...to tell the truth, im worse...and dont take my or god's word for it...come find me and ill show you where you'll get your salvation from....

Anonymous said...

umm he is a wonderful man of God and seeks Gods face he talks with God i am only 17 years old and i know that God is real! there is a heaven and there is a hell the majority of us know the right way to go but choose not to i am here to tell u that God is real, Jesus died on the cross for our sins and if u believe that and ask God to forgive you, you to can be forgiven and you, as well as me will spend eternity with him in heaven, God is merciful and will forgive you no matter what you have done. Those that choose not to change their lifestyle will stand face to face with the almighty God one day and as the bible says he will say to you depart from me you worker of eniquity, I never knew you, your final destination is hell and you will spend eternity in hell being tormented by demons forever my prayer is that you turn from your sin and ask God to forgive you because trust me what this world has to offer is not worth going to hell.

Mark Hale said...

This world has Peanut Buster Parfaits. Tell me that shit ain't worth going to hell.

Anonymous said...

wow you really have no idea who pastor chuck salvo is and you want to go ahead and talk about him like you do. He is a awesome man of God and he prays and asks God to have mercy on each and everyone of us. God uses him everytime he steps up on that platform. im 17 and i know that the stuff i have felt in that church are not fake. and no its not just the overwhelming love of pastor chuck salvo its the overwhelming love of Jesus.

BL said...

Pastor Chuck is amazing. I realize that this is an old blog, so forgive me... but my husband and I recently joined his church and believe him to be a truely connected man of God. It is hard for those who have yet to accept Christ to understand that what he says is truth. And before they condemn him for what he believes in, they should pick up the BIBLE. He follows it! And he lives for the Lord!

Anonymous said...

Hey, how's it going guys. I just wanted to say a few things. Regarding to "Chuck Salvo" I was around him for awhile, and I must say he is a "nice guy." It doesn't matter if "he" prays for God to forgive you, It's you and only you that can do It. Anyways, the school by the church Is run down. Ceiling tile falling from water leaks ect, and yet he cannot find the money to fix it. Though he buy's new cars like what? every few months? and new "expensive" houses. And yet can't fix a leak...hmm gots me thinking about how bad "he" really is and not God.

Anonymous said...

I'm a spirit filled Christian and I believe in God using people. I also live in Louisville and have friends in Chuck Salvo's church. The more I find out about the man the more he scares me. At the least he seems very power hungry and controlling. I don't think he represents Jesus well.

Anonymous said...

Maybe the reason he scares you if because you are full of demons...

Anonymous said...

I hope you, L_Tyranis and Mark Hale find God. The only reason you two even bother with this is that deep down you want God, I take it thats why you search so drastically. I hope both of you find your way cause God is knocking.

Anonymous said...

Im sorry but if you dont like him then why "look" things up about him. seriously. Hes a great man. And I doubt yall judging him will phase him or make him stop doing what hes doing.