Happy Freakin' Ho-Ho

Well, I'm off for the... warmer... climate of Miami shortly. My friend Tiny had been joking about how much he wants an ice storm to hit Miami. Or possibly not joking. Either way he sucks and he needs to shut up and go to hell.

I wanna say a few things, though. I started blogging with a vengeance back in May -- after a good period of time spent not really knowing what to do here -- and the so-called "comics blogospheriversity" greeted me and hugged me and squeezed me and called me George. I think Ken Lowery was the first to call me George, and I have him to thank for a lot of the attention I got. Not that I do this for attention, of course. Ha ha. But seriously, you're all a bunch of great folks, and I wanted to say thanks and wish you and yours all the best in these coldest of months, when the weather and the Christmas specials can become so oppressive.

Couple things I enjoyed this year:

Ex Machina: Brian Vaughn brings superheroes into a realer world than we're used to seeing them in, but how great is it having Tony Harris on an ongoing series again?

Scott Pilgrim's Precious Little Life: Bryan O'Malley snuck into my room and KICKED MY ASS with his first Scott Pilgrim installment, about a guy who's a bit like me only with more ambition. Gratuitous Super Mario Bros. 2 references make me giggle unrepentently.

Arrowsmith: Kurt Busiek and Carlos Pacheco really schocked me with this. Gorgeous trade collection filled with incredible art and a mystical take on World War I (when I barely know anything about the actual war). I guess this is what they call "world building," and I'm aching for more.

Birds of Prey: What else can I say about Gail Simone's run on this title? It nice to have a book about smart, funny, interesting women who aren't cum dumpsters, punching bags, or both. And Ed Benes really is as good an artist as she says he is.

Not reading Identity Crisis or Avengers Disassembled: Seriously, what the fuck was that shit? And DC doesn't seem to be letting up anytime soon. And Marvel...

Watching Marvel go from zero to suck-ass in a matter of months: Okay, I didn't so much enjoy this. I knew something was up as soon as they cancelled Peter Bagge's "Incorrigable Hulk" one-shot. Not that "the Jemas years" were -- okay, fine, they were fucking awesome. X-Statix, Grant Morrison's New X-Men... I'm too tired to list more, but isn't that enough? I think it's enough. Now they're partying like it's 1992 over there, and I've gone from reading the most Marvel books I've ever read to a couple of books and a jump straight to the back of Marvel Previews (oy) to see what Essential volumes are coming out. But hey, I've got Essential Super-Villain Team-Up and several volumes of Tomb of Dracula, so I guess they're still doing one thing right.

Avengers/JLA hardcover: Two words: Total. Fanboner.

Fallen Angel: Peter David is one of those rare "old school" guys who has managed to not get mired in his past, completely unafraid to try something new, and this series is, quite likely, the best thing he's ever done. Nobody in the book is really all that likeable, which really makes me happy, 'cause fuck having characters you can identify with, frankly. I want sleaze and nastiness and jerks. And I get it all. And the art is dark and lush and moody, month in and month out.

Hard Time: Steve Gerber knows how to tell a story. Always has. Another guy who's been at it for years and not missed a beat. Ethan's getting along a lot better than I would in jail. I'd totally be Cindy within the first week.

And that's it. Or all I can think of this early.

Have a merry merry, everybody. Go spend some time with someone you love. I'm about to.

[I may get to update while I'm gone, but I doubt the Comic Weblog Updates page will let you know. So please check in periodically, if you love me. Just in case. Please. Thanks.]

In ten days time I shall be in Miami, feasting on shrimp pizza, drowning in Cuban coffee, and most likely pinching Amelie's ass in public. It's okay; she likes it.

I've been rather neglectful of this weblog as of late. I was sick, as I mentioned, and then I was stricken with a fungus. Yes, a vile fungus burrowed its way into my elbows, took root there, and caused me to wake up many mornings to mad scratching. I haven't felt this filthy and gross since I had head lice in fourth grade. Fortunately, though, this gave me the opportunity to set up an appointment with the second-evilest-named doctor I've ever been to: Dr. Priscilla Villaroman. Wasn't that the name of one of the Fenris Twins? Should she or any of her patients stumble across this, just let me say that she's a wonderful doctor, very personable, and she didn't once excavate my organs and replace them with cybernetics.

The evilest-named doctor I've ever been to? Let me set this up. He had a handlebar moustache waxed to deadly, curled-up perfection, and a ratcheting device used to hold open the mouths of small children. He was my dentist... Dr. Bender. I don't buy into the "truth is stranger than fiction" mindset, but seriously, sometimes you can't make this shit up.

I keep reading around the blogoverse that the "Space Ghost" miniseries from DC is selling well. I've been confused for a while as to what the fuck a "space ghost" is. Is that scarier somehow than an Earth Ghost? What about Underwater Ghost? I know I'm pretty freaked out by moray eels. You put one in a cape and cowl and even a monkey sidekick won't get me in the same room with one. But as fucking retarded as Space Ghost is, at least no one has done a serious revival of Blue Falcon or Inch High Private Eye. Or The Hair Bear Bunch. Or the Gallopin' Ghost. Or Jabberjaws. (Jeezus Creezus, how much of this crap did they show on the USA Network when I was a kid?)

Perhaps when I come back from vacation I'll overhaul this weblog. That sounds like a credible threat. Don't know if you'll hear from me while I'm off, but it's possible. Got a lot planned. Like a GWAR show and a trip to Monkey Jungle. 'cause there's nothing I love more than hearing loss and monkeys.